literally the most insane thing ever - it was completely unacceptable and the fact that people have no idea how to apologize either is even more insane
Its true! Racism is pathetic. I myself have been a victim of this- I am an Indian Bengali, and I have been made fun of by fellow Indians, even though Bengalis are the most educated clans. I have to hear a lot of derogatory comments for my culture and that sucks.😔
I am so so sorry that happened to you, Faith. No one deserves that, atleast not a sweet soul like you🥺😢
i am so sorry you have to go through things like this too! it’s really dehumanizing and disappointing. whenever things along the lines of this happen, i just try to remember that the words being spoken are a result of the smallness of their minds, not the amount of our worth as people at all
just by reading this is enraging. those were a lot of offensive action and remarks to experience in a single interaction with a person. it sucks. it’s terribly sickening. as a filipino as well, it’s really infuriating that southeast asians are spoken as slurs when they are referring to asians.
he has a lot to learn but apologizing being of it is ridiculous.
it genuinely shocked me that there was not one single apology… i would’ve left the conversation way earlier but i felt i deserved an apology at the very least before i did, but it was truly nonexistent!!!
we’ve talked about this extensively, but this is awful behavior from him– his lack of understanding and his inability to apologize is so gross. you are an incredible person and i’m proud to know you
It felt like it also covered how a politician or celebrate will say something offensive and the entry to walk it back with words to justify or make an excuse. You are so right. It feels like to-day, we have forgotten and failed to pass on why these things are wrong. I wish I had the words to say there is a silver lining to this, but none come to mind. It's as if that is time you can't get back. I come across it almost every day, hearing it from people I know about others. They always return with it just how it is, or they are tired of trying to be correct or nice. I still believe in the golden rule: do unto others and do say it if you don't have anything nice to say. I listened to my mom. I paid attention. I can't say the next time will be better. I can say, hang in there. There needs to be more people like you who get it and can pass on the lessons of life. ❤🌹✨
such a disappointing experience that is unfortunately all too familiar. you handled it so well. i can never understand the lack of a genuine apology or understanding of what was so wrong about it all.
wow. just subscribed. first post I’ve read of yours.. meaningful, insightful and sadly true. Othering (especially of anyone who isn’t white or a man) has become so commonplace that casual cruelty and bigotry are now acceptable everyday interactions by way too many people. And when faced with pushback or consequences, contrition (like you so eloquently mentioned) is often the last thing to be considered. As a society, we are moving away from compassion and reflection, and full on embracing the normalization of discrimination. Kindness is not a weakness. Trying to understand why someone might be hurt or offended is not lame. And nurturing sensitivity and showing emotion is not woke. Please keep writing! Thank you for sharing.
truly horrible although i love how you managed to take this situation & reflect on it with such intelligence & insight (you can tell you’re a songwriter just in the way you do this!)
What a horrible experience. :( I'm awed by how you were able to quell the rage enough to think: how could we make this a learning experience? You handled it with an amazing amount of grace. Thank you for sharing your reflection on this vulnerable moment, Faith. You write beautifully.
Am such an avid reader of everything you write and you're Filipino too!! Like me!! The casual racism is soo real and happens a lot within Filipino circles too.
It's impossible to be good. For to be good is to obey the law perfectly. There is only one who lived and died perfectly, and all who believe that are cleansed of their evil.
Who can say what is just, when they themselves are unjust? Forgive others if you have been forgiven by your savior. Forgiveness do not come out of a demand, but by the tenderness and a loving heart.
the pandemic part is so true! it’s so sad that we have to be in the midst of a crisis to actually turn to each other for comfort and community :( BRING IT BACK!!!!
Your piece left me with so much to reflect on. Two things stood out to me deeply: the way you captured the emptiness of a hollow apology and the aching loss of kindness in the world around us.
First, about apologies. What you said about them being more than just words really resonated with me. A real apology, the kind that carries weight, isn’t about smoothing things over or moving on quickly. It’s about sitting in the discomfort of knowing you’ve caused harm and making space for someone else’s pain. It's funny how those who do harm end up getting more annoyed at our reactions than their own words that caused the harm. That’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s easier to brush off blame or justify actions than to genuinely say, “I was wrong, and I’ll do better.” Maybe they weren’t even sorry and that’s just who they are. But that’s EXACTLY what separates people who grow from those who don’t. The way you described the power of a genuine apology felt less like a critique and more like a plea for people to stop being afraid of accountability. That’s a kind of courage we’re sorely missing.
And then there’s the kindness piece. It’s heartbreaking, the way you tied our regression to that fleeting moment during the pandemic when we seemed to care more. I remember those early days too - the collective vulnerability, the soft ways we treated each other, as if we all recognized how fragile we were. But now? It’s like everyone’s racing to prove how tough, detached, or ironic they can be, hiding behind jokes or indifference to avoid real connection. Your story hit home because it’s not just about one person’s ignorance. Rather, it’s about a world that seems to be forgetting how to care, how to be gentle. It feels like we’re losing something precious, and no one’s even noticing.
What I loved most about your reflection is how it wasn’t just an airing of frustration—it was a quiet call to action. A reminder that the bar for being decent really shouldn’t be this low. And yet, here we are. Thank you for putting this out there. It was helpful!
Such an unfortunate experience, I’m sorry that happened to you. I found your ability to open that situation up and recognize it as a potential symptom of a much larger issue inspirationally empathetic.
literally the most insane thing ever - it was completely unacceptable and the fact that people have no idea how to apologize either is even more insane
thank you for being there for me through it all i love you!!
Its true! Racism is pathetic. I myself have been a victim of this- I am an Indian Bengali, and I have been made fun of by fellow Indians, even though Bengalis are the most educated clans. I have to hear a lot of derogatory comments for my culture and that sucks.😔
I am so so sorry that happened to you, Faith. No one deserves that, atleast not a sweet soul like you🥺😢
i am so sorry you have to go through things like this too! it’s really dehumanizing and disappointing. whenever things along the lines of this happen, i just try to remember that the words being spoken are a result of the smallness of their minds, not the amount of our worth as people at all
and thank you so much for the kind words! :,)
just by reading this is enraging. those were a lot of offensive action and remarks to experience in a single interaction with a person. it sucks. it’s terribly sickening. as a filipino as well, it’s really infuriating that southeast asians are spoken as slurs when they are referring to asians.
he has a lot to learn but apologizing being of it is ridiculous.
it genuinely shocked me that there was not one single apology… i would’ve left the conversation way earlier but i felt i deserved an apology at the very least before i did, but it was truly nonexistent!!!
we’ve talked about this extensively, but this is awful behavior from him– his lack of understanding and his inability to apologize is so gross. you are an incredible person and i’m proud to know you
i love you sarah thank you for always talking to me about these things :,) makes me feel a million times better
It felt like it also covered how a politician or celebrate will say something offensive and the entry to walk it back with words to justify or make an excuse. You are so right. It feels like to-day, we have forgotten and failed to pass on why these things are wrong. I wish I had the words to say there is a silver lining to this, but none come to mind. It's as if that is time you can't get back. I come across it almost every day, hearing it from people I know about others. They always return with it just how it is, or they are tired of trying to be correct or nice. I still believe in the golden rule: do unto others and do say it if you don't have anything nice to say. I listened to my mom. I paid attention. I can't say the next time will be better. I can say, hang in there. There needs to be more people like you who get it and can pass on the lessons of life. ❤🌹✨
thank you for the kind words! i will hang in there!!
such a disappointing experience that is unfortunately all too familiar. you handled it so well. i can never understand the lack of a genuine apology or understanding of what was so wrong about it all.
exactly… just such a horrendous interaction. thank you so much for talking me through it :,) i love u
i love u always <3
wow. just subscribed. first post I’ve read of yours.. meaningful, insightful and sadly true. Othering (especially of anyone who isn’t white or a man) has become so commonplace that casual cruelty and bigotry are now acceptable everyday interactions by way too many people. And when faced with pushback or consequences, contrition (like you so eloquently mentioned) is often the last thing to be considered. As a society, we are moving away from compassion and reflection, and full on embracing the normalization of discrimination. Kindness is not a weakness. Trying to understand why someone might be hurt or offended is not lame. And nurturing sensitivity and showing emotion is not woke. Please keep writing! Thank you for sharing.
thank you so much! and yep, exactly!!! glad to have you here
truly horrible although i love how you managed to take this situation & reflect on it with such intelligence & insight (you can tell you’re a songwriter just in the way you do this!)
thank you leah :,)
This is crazy!
Glad to see a fellow Filipino here on substack!
I love the way you write!
What a horrible experience. :( I'm awed by how you were able to quell the rage enough to think: how could we make this a learning experience? You handled it with an amazing amount of grace. Thank you for sharing your reflection on this vulnerable moment, Faith. You write beautifully.
Am such an avid reader of everything you write and you're Filipino too!! Like me!! The casual racism is soo real and happens a lot within Filipino circles too.
It's impossible to be good. For to be good is to obey the law perfectly. There is only one who lived and died perfectly, and all who believe that are cleansed of their evil.
Who can say what is just, when they themselves are unjust? Forgive others if you have been forgiven by your savior. Forgiveness do not come out of a demand, but by the tenderness and a loving heart.
the pandemic part is so true! it’s so sad that we have to be in the midst of a crisis to actually turn to each other for comfort and community :( BRING IT BACK!!!!
Your piece left me with so much to reflect on. Two things stood out to me deeply: the way you captured the emptiness of a hollow apology and the aching loss of kindness in the world around us.
First, about apologies. What you said about them being more than just words really resonated with me. A real apology, the kind that carries weight, isn’t about smoothing things over or moving on quickly. It’s about sitting in the discomfort of knowing you’ve caused harm and making space for someone else’s pain. It's funny how those who do harm end up getting more annoyed at our reactions than their own words that caused the harm. That’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s easier to brush off blame or justify actions than to genuinely say, “I was wrong, and I’ll do better.” Maybe they weren’t even sorry and that’s just who they are. But that’s EXACTLY what separates people who grow from those who don’t. The way you described the power of a genuine apology felt less like a critique and more like a plea for people to stop being afraid of accountability. That’s a kind of courage we’re sorely missing.
And then there’s the kindness piece. It’s heartbreaking, the way you tied our regression to that fleeting moment during the pandemic when we seemed to care more. I remember those early days too - the collective vulnerability, the soft ways we treated each other, as if we all recognized how fragile we were. But now? It’s like everyone’s racing to prove how tough, detached, or ironic they can be, hiding behind jokes or indifference to avoid real connection. Your story hit home because it’s not just about one person’s ignorance. Rather, it’s about a world that seems to be forgetting how to care, how to be gentle. It feels like we’re losing something precious, and no one’s even noticing.
What I loved most about your reflection is how it wasn’t just an airing of frustration—it was a quiet call to action. A reminder that the bar for being decent really shouldn’t be this low. And yet, here we are. Thank you for putting this out there. It was helpful!
Such an unfortunate experience, I’m sorry that happened to you. I found your ability to open that situation up and recognize it as a potential symptom of a much larger issue inspirationally empathetic.