34 Comments
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catalina's avatar

i resonated with this so much and oh my god the song - your voice is angelic.

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faith zapata's avatar

:,) thank you so much

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catalina's avatar

<33 is it on any platform? i would absolutely love to listen to it more

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faith zapata's avatar

it isn’t (yet) !!! just here for now but i will consider releasing :,)

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arshia's avatar

faith……🥲

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faith zapata's avatar

<3

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Hafsa's avatar

you express yourself in a very beautiful way, as the eldest daughter, I could relate to most of it, and I am very proud of you for reflecting on everything that have happened, sympathizing with the other person and understanding them without forgetting yourself in the process + your voice is very beautiful, thank you for sharing that beautiful song.

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faith zapata's avatar

i'm so glad you could resonate! thank you so much for the kind words, it means so much <3

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sarah cucchiara's avatar

i love you so much. this spoke to my soul

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faith zapata's avatar

love you forever sweet sarah :,))

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Elle's avatar

faith. you know what i'm going to say even before i say it but my god. that just broke and healed something in me. reading you spell all of this out made me realize that i've been feeling this exact way too. and the fact that you put in the picture of the giving tree—that's exactly how i feel most of the time. i adore your beautiful, introspective writing, but most of all i love that your essays (and songs by extension) act as a mirror for readers & listeners to be able to resonate and reflect on themselves. that is just a testament to your big heart and empathy, which i always tell you is your biggest strength (also your big brain but we all know that).

i'm just so, so glad that you wrote this essay. i love this essay. i love you.

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faith zapata's avatar

elle you are my soulmate. I am fully convinced of this. I love you so much 🫶🏼

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michelle's avatar

i'm the eldest daughter and i work in healthcare now. i think i love my job...or maybe i just love feeling needed...🥺

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faith zapata's avatar

🥲🤝

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Micah's avatar

Reading this felt like the literary equivalent of looking in a mirror. I wish you all the best ❤️

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faith zapata's avatar

I’m glad it could resonate 🤍 but also sorry you can relate LOL. wishing you the best as well!!

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Den's avatar

this reminds me of taylor swift's song "So Long, London" It was undoubtedly hard but I'm glad you're moving forward. As someone who's studying to be a nurse and is the eldest daughter, guess I feel the need to feel needed too! I hope we someone who reciprocates the love and care we deserve.

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faith zapata's avatar

you’re so right, that song fits perfectly 🥲 and thank you so much. i can tell you have a big heart and i know you’re going to make a wonderful nurse. best of luck in your studies and with everything! 🤍

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Saumya Khanna's avatar

I really appreciated you sharing this. You articulated your journey so well from the perspective of an older sibling!

I love this as well: “The past year has been primarily spent rebuilding my sense of self outside of that situation and putting my energy into people and spaces that return it back to me without having to ask.” You’ve cultivated a new way of being with such strength💓

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faith zapata's avatar

this means so much to me thank you 😭🤍

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copito <3's avatar

such a beautiful voice and soul, this hits my heart to the bottom so bad, thank you for speaking with the truth 💓

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faith zapata's avatar

thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot <3

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Flora's avatar

I really appreciate this piece of work you've shared with us. As a fellow eldest daughter, and as someone who has gone through a relationship where I got too headstrong for my own good, this really touched my heart in a way I didn't expect 💚

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faith zapata's avatar

you get it 🩷 thank you so much!

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Maria Mota's avatar

Oh WOW. Your voice is really beautiful. I’m glad you got out of that situation. I’ll always be there to hit you up so don’t worry :-)

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cydneii lung’aho's avatar

Just when I thought your beauty shone through the page, your voice and the song materialised it into transcendence! Thank you for sharing this perspective and life experience with us through such beauty and grace. I get it. I see you. Love, an eldest daughter too 🫂

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faith zapata's avatar

getting teary at this comment thank you so much :,) 🥲🫶🏼

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aniya°'s avatar

your songs and voice are so beautiful 💖💖

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jeamwrites☽'s avatar

I LOVE THE SONG 🥲 you are wonderful 🫶🏽

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Sidney Brown's avatar

God...this essay hit me so hard. I’m an eldest daughter and I also was in a scarily similar long distance relationship. I never put the pieces together that my built in tendency to fix everything also extended to him - I was falling apart and yet all of my energy was going into helping him, supporting him, fixing him. Meanwhile he did nothing for me in return, and ended up breaking up with me (truly the audacity). At the end I felt utterly hollowed out - I was also trying to keep my whole family together emotionally while my parents were separating, so the two blows at once were p spicy!! Truly not a place I would ever want to return to, but it taught me so much.

Since then I’ve built a beautiful platform within myself, put a lot of healthy distance between my family, and married someone who not only reciprocates my love, but expands me and pushes me forward.

Thank you for writing this, you really gave me a galaxy brain moment ❤️

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