18 Comments
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hannah's avatar

So beautifully written! I relate to this lot as I find it really bittersweet to look at old pictures of myself, it’s like grieving a version of myself that no longer exist

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faith zapata's avatar

thank you :’)) ♥️

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Emma Rae-Cohen's avatar

This article came into my inbox at just the right time, when I was getting really down on myself for my body changing (I just turned 30!). Thank you for putting the feeling into words. It’s definitely comforting to know others feel, think and do the same rituals of reflection

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faith zapata's avatar

I’m so glad it found you ♥️♥️♥️

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Caroline Beuley's avatar

This is BEAUTIFUL Faith. "I'm homesick for a feeling I've never experienced," hit so hard! I too look back on photos where I know for a fact I thought I looked bad at the time, but looking back I think I look great. I wish it was easier to feel that way in the moment, to feel beautiful in the present.

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faith zapata's avatar

thank you caroline ♥️🥲 I so agree

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Helena Poe's avatar

beautifully put. I related to every word you wrote and it’s always comforting to know you’re not alone in this feeling (even when it’s an unfortunate one).

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faith zapata's avatar

thank you so much ♥️🫂

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laura's avatar

thank you for writing and sharing this as i know it is very vulnerable. it felt like you articulated what i've been experiencing in my mind and body for the past couple of years. it is nice to know one is not alone with these thoughts, as unfortunate and sad as they may be.

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Jellyfish's avatar

It's interesting that I read this after seeing somewhere on tik tok that we're now trying to outsource our lives to technology, to prove we exist. I had a similar experience when my mother sent me an old photo of myself and I immediately burst into tears. Thoughts about being skinnier shamefully came along. But I was crying at the lack of recognition, that I don't fully recall what it was like before I became self-conscious. I would inhabit that body and period of life in the hopes that I was somehow happier prior to puberty and my prefrontal cortex growing.

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flopi 🦢's avatar

muy real u.u 🫂💕

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Mariana Mendes's avatar

the rowan blanchard circa 2016 photo like oh i know a TRUE yearner when i see one

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faith zapata's avatar

YOU KNOW IT

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Mariana Mendes's avatar

like that’s my girl and she was so tumblr coded like plsss you inspired me to want to use her old pictures as all my essay covers. let’s bring her back!!!

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Hung Story's avatar

Are you a “pop simplers“? Be HONEST!!!😠😠😠

https://substack.com/@hungmovietvseries/note/p-165790296

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ruthie's avatar

This really spoke to me. Sometimes I find myself wishing that cameras didn’t exist, because there would be a kind of peace in not being able to look back and see exactly what your body looked like.

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Rajiwrites's avatar

You just reminded me of the song Pretty isn't pretty by Olivia Rodrigo

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Lauren's avatar

so raw. thank you for making me feel seen.

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